Top 10 First Date Conversations
First of all, we all want to be Vincent-like. Not exactly like him, but his ninja-like verbal ease is second to none and we all want to emulate his confidence.
Now, there are hundreds of PUA (Pick Up Artist) experts with unique styles for picking up a woman. I address them in detail in other posts, but my immediate focus is on conversation we can use on the upcoming first date or first encounter – beyond the the pick up stage.
Speaking to a woman can be easy. Most of us, though, struggle with this EXTREMELY important skill all our lives. Some are Vincent– like and we want to be like him. We want ways of conversation to flow from our being and make it effortless.
But most men will never achieve this legendary coolness, but we do need help getting some of the way there – especially on that first date. Remember, the key to success in this area is one of the key manliness traits: Try To Be Interesting, But Always Be Interested. The other manliness trait: Treat The Person Who Is Speaking As The Most Important Person In The Room, is also an important one.
Here is a decent list of first timers and I am sure you can come up with plenty more.
Avoid her past!
A real man would never ask about past lovers or past personal stuff on a first date. This should be avoided until she initiates the topic (if she ever does). You want her to start with a clean slate. You want her to know that you are what all men should be – forget about the ones that broke her heart or made her felt used. You want her to focus on the here and now.
Traveled anywhere special?
I love this one to fire up a girl’s interest. Asking her about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future will help put her into a VERY good state of mind. Don’t offer to take her away next weekend to the place she mentions – this will only make you look somewhat stalker-like. Simply look for common ground and this will keep the conversation going for a long time.
Got any brothers or sisters?
A safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings. Shouldn’t have to say this, but don’t ask her if she has any cute sisters. Also, stay away from asking about her parents, unless she brings up the topic. There are all kinds of ways this could backfire. Sisters and brothers, though, usually trigger good feelings and score points for you since you’re showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.
What are you drinking? What else do you like?
A topic of conversation, especially if the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, is the kind of food and drinks she likes. Feeding a woman and providing for her is not only chivalrous, but also a key to getting the blood pumping. For a lot of women, good food and drink is an aphrodisiac and a good topic of conversation. Potential topics here are endless.
Tell me a little about your friends.
Asking her about her friends is awesome. We know she could talk about her friends all night. It’s easy, comfortable and safe. She will love to tell you about her circle, how much they mean to her and where she met them (and all of the things they do together).
Any career plans?
Asking a girl about her education and what she intends on discovering next in her professional life can backfire, but it’s mostly safe. She might love to go on and on about her numerous achievements, but she also might break down and admit that her current job sucks and is not what she wants to be doing long-term. In either case, the man is provided with a golden opportunity to reassure and encourage with an abundance of compliments.
How’s your job?
Don’t let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life – this is a buzz kill. Just show her you are interested and you can relate. If she loves her job, then you will have plenty of discussion in front you. If she hates it, then talk about great she is and changing things are certain to be easy.
What do you like to do in your free time?
Does she have any hobbies? Does she like to work out? What the hell does she do to stay so freaking hot? (use that one cautiously and sparingly) What about sports? What kind of music does she like? Does she like to shop? What are some of her favorite stores? All of these can lead to hours of good stuff, but again, you must show you are genuinely interested.
What do you like to do on the weekends?
This one is the best. The weekends define who we are and if we were to have a bunch of free time, exactly how we would chose to spend it. Stay away from hypothetical’s and dreaming. Focus on the hobbies and how to “recharge the batteries”.
Be bold and look ahead
After you have spent a few hours demonstrating to her you can listen and you have genuine interest, look for the body language that invites you to step up. If positive, talk about what would be cool the next time you get together. You don’t want to rush too far ahead and scare her off, but if she’s enjoying herself, chances are she’ll be curious to see what other great adventures you have in store for her.
As a man, take charge of your time with her. This is a turn on for women. They want to know you can handle yourself in any situation and simple conversation is one of those. Talking and conversation is considered foreplay for women and you need to be prepared in order to be successful.