Softer Sunday: Top 10 Chick Drinks Of All Time
As most manly men do, I like to drink. If you don’t drink, it makes you no less of a man or limits your manliness in any way. My co-conspirator on this site, Cody, does not drink, and he is one of the manliest guys I know.
However, if you like to wet the noodle now and again, knowing the finer points of the “chick drink” – how to make it, how to serve it, and how NOT to drink them if you’re a guy – are important to your social well-being.
As the trend shifts to women in the elixir business, men should be aware of these chick drink classics. Bartenders everywhere will tell stories of men, for one reason or another, saying “I’ll have what she’s having.” What the heck is going on?
If a guy is looking to score points or just score, there are better ways to do it. If you like the taste of the drink, compliment your companion, tell them you love those drinks, and then order up a bourbon on the rocks, or even better, neat.
Women love to hear you enjoy what they are doing and approve of their taste, but they also want a man to be a man – especially in public. If you are not sure what to get, then go with the manliest of all manly standbys – beer. Want more sophistication? Order up a bourbon neat, scotch on the rocks, or vodka and soda.
Top 10 Chick Drinks
1. Wine Coolers. Can’t think of a time when a guy ordering a wine cooler for himself at a bar is OK. Nope, I’ve thought about it and these drinks, no matter how much you may like them (and I do, from time to time) are strictly for chicks in groups of 3 or more.
2. Champagne. If toasting your best friend at a wedding, fine. If drinking out of the bottle at 12:01 AM, January 1st – it works. If there is a celebration happening, men are free to indulge. Chicks really like the sweet taste all the time, so it has to be included in the list.
3. White Wine. I love wine. There is nothing better than a slightly chilled Cabernet with a giant steak. White wine, though, is a classic chick drink. I have yet to find a guy that would rather have white over red, but women choose it all the time.
4. Sex On The Beach. Awesome name, great ingredients, and a classic among women everywhere. A great conversation starter because of the name, but I’m not sure how a guy can drink this not feel at least a bit effeminate. It does contain vodka, but the OJ, cranberry juice, and peach schnapps push this onto the list.
5. Appletini. I love these. Oh, the sweet nectar of apples and flavored vodka. I love them so much, I savor every last one of these for home with the shades drawn. JD on Scrubs is a fine example of why this is a chick drink. I love JD, but whenever he orders an Appletini, it is always done with a little tongue in cheek.
6. Cosmopolitan Martini. The only martini a man should be seen with in public is a straight vodka or gin martini. Shaken or stirred, who cares, but throw in a few olives and enjoy the harshness of drinking a classic Bond drink. When you start adding fruity colors to “cut the taste”, you are drifting far into the chick drink world. That being said, chick drink or not, if adding the additional flavor helps, do so. Keeping the garnishes to a minimum allows this to work for men in social settings.
7. Screaming Orgasm. My wife and I like to call this the Dirty Russian. It is a combination of the White Russian and Dark Russian. One part Vodka, one part Irish Cream, one part coffee liquor. This is one of the best tasting cocktails of all time. It comes across very sweet and feels like you are drinking your desert. Add some Cream de Cacao and you are drinking a chocolate éclair.
8. Long Island Iced Tea. One of the exceptions to public consumption for men, this drink does nicely in a variety of settings. Women love it for its taste and general “tea” connotation (does not contain tea at all). Men love it because it has A BUNCH of liquor in it – all 5 types of clear liquors to be exact.
9. Lemon Drop. Can be a martini or a shot. This drink actually looks manly enough and could be consumed in public if done correctly. It tastes like candy, and therefore, is a chick drink. If with a group of guys looking to order shots, please don’t call the tender over and yell out “me and the boys want 7 Lemon Drops!” Order up Irish Car Bomb’s or Three Wise-Men to make sure everyone knows the level of manliness.
10. Piña Colada. These are fantastic tasting drinks. I love them, but unless you are on the beach with a beautiful woman and nobody else around, leave these classic chick drinks behind and go for jungle juice. It’s a fun-loving, summer staple, served in a very feminine glass with lots of garnishes. Definitely on the list.
Manly Advice on Chick Drinks
Finally, some advice for guys who are constantly fighting the urge to order up one of the chick drinks on the list. If you’re like me, you will always be considering these drinks as you love them all. Just be selective and understand your wanting to Return To Manliness.
Drink what men should drink. Cocktails are an incredible way for “the Chase” to culminate. Men and women love to socialize and meet this way. As much as she will appreciate your wide variety of consumption etiquette, more will she love the fact that you can drink what men should drink. What a man drinks in a social setting can tell a lot about what type of a man he is. You can still have amazing manliness and drink a chick drink, but why confuse anyone?
Save the pleasure for home. As I mentioned, I love most of these drinks. I will pour a tart Appletini for my wife and myself in the confines of our wonderful home, anytime. I might even do it with some close guy friends too. Drawing the shades and closing the curtains to do this is a little extreme, but the point is still valid.
Know your audience. Most would agree that appearance matters. How you dress, how you speak, how your hair looks, your physical fitness, etc. Cocktails are also part of your whole appearance. Consider who you might be trying to impress. If truly no one, then let it fly. But if you believe appearance matters, consider who is around and order up the stuff that will put hair on your chest.
Know how to make one. Whether you like chick drinks or not, knowing how to make them matters. If with a woman in public and she orders up a classic chick drink, knowing what is in it will impress her to the hilt. When hanging with friends at home, women will be impressed with your vast knowledge of elixir skills by offering up chick drinks they all adore.
Always have 6-8 chick drinks memorized. Oftentimes, women are drinking not for the same reasons as men. They will do it more to socialize, while men do it to kill off demons and bond. Being able to suggest a drink and explaining the fine delicacies of why she will love it, is a huge plus. The real trick is to offer it up without the notion of it being a chick drink. Women want to be included – not patronized. So be knowledgeable and offer up your suggestions in a manner befitting of true manliness.