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Man Up Your Bucket List

12 August 2008 82,587 views 6 Comments

Several bloggers around the old series of tubes are publishing their version of their Bucket List. The importance of what it means to them and how their readers should create their own. Of course, this is all based on the extremely popular movie The Bucket List (starring two of my all time favorite manly men, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman.)

This is a great idea. Trent over at The Simple Dollar (another great site) helps with some really simple how-to’s. It’s a good read. He tries to make the concept more than just a fantasy by giving us some concrete ways to make it happen. Everyone should have one, I agree.

Most men, though, like to fantasize about things they will never have. Some things are physically impossible and others are out of the reach of us mere mortals. Others are simply fantasies, which even if presented the opportunity; we would never act because of our lifestyle choices.

Some righteous guys would say “No way. Not me. I would never want that.” But if they were to man up and tell the truth, they would kill to have it – at least once, for a little bit.

Here is the key, though. These Bucket List items would probably have to be given to us. Because they are so unattainable, the mere thought of trading money or time or whatever to get them doesn’t make sense. Nevertheless, as men, we would take em in a heartbeat.

You need to have a clear set of goals that when shown to a friend, they cough up a lung in laughter, or when shown to your wife or girlfriend, they say “grow up.”

You need to man up your Bucket List.

Six-Pack Abs

Every man alive wants these. If a guy doesn’t want a six-pack, they’re not male. Whether the guy works out or not, they want to be able to shed the shirt at the beach and have every hot chick wish they were with him. It is inherent to us. We believe this single item, completely attainable for most men but not for all, can literally change our lives. If it could, then why don’t we do whatever it takes to get them? There is a whole cost/benefit analysis thing going on here, but if it didn’t take that much, we would take them and party like rock stars.

Professional Athlete

All boys grow up believing they are going to be professional athletes. It’s what we do. There is a time, though, in every boy’s life, mine was 15, when we simply know it is an impossibility. At this point, we resign to becoming something more practical – doctors, lawyers, business guys, cable installers, construction workers, etc. But it doesn’t matter we are 37, 50 pounds overweight, and have not worked out in about a year, we still want to be pro-athletes. We still watch the jockheads on TV and say, “What a loser. I could have done that.”

A Threesome

I know, here come the PC police… There are COMPLETELY faithful guys who are fathers and husbands who will say they would never want this, but they’re lying. It’s OK. I’m one of them too. I tell my wife I would never want this and it is only a young, single man’s fantasy. Whatever… This is like the pro-athlete one. We know it will never happen, so it’s just a fantasy. For the record, many of us at a certain stage in our lives wouldn’t do it even if presented with the opportunity. I’m one of those guys.

X-Ray Vision

Why are super hero movies so freaking popular nowadays? Because special effects have gotten good enough to make these superhero strengths look real. Every guy has dreamt of using this to their own perverted advantage. There is no other reason to have to have it unless you are Superman and need to fight crime when no one else can.

Full Head Of Hair

Even the fellas who shave their heads clean and justify they like the look, all would want a full head of hair if given a choice. Yes, bald is beautiful and I keep telling myself this as it keeps coming loose. I still would want a full head of hair, though, and I am not alone. Check out the amount of Hair Club For Men and Rogaine commercials all over the place.

“F@ck You” Money

This is on every man’s Bucket List (fantasy or not). Every guy strives to be able to have the choice – to walk into our boss’s office and politely say it. Is this one a fantasy? For most, I say yes. But this is actually one that needs our full attention – realistic or not. If one day, we were able to achieve this goal, we would be giving ourselves and our families the best gift of all – financial freedom.

Leader Of A Band

Also included in this Bucket List item is to play the guitar/piano/sax; be adored by millions of fans; be John or Paul – not Ringo; crash up hotel rooms; and have plenty of groupies. Even guys who don’t like music (some may argue their manhood) would want all of the above.

Gills

Another superhero thing. Freaking gills – think about it. Breathing underwater just might be one of the coolest things you could ask for. I would want them to be unnoticeable though. Nothing more embarrassing than having them protrude through your dress shirt collar while giving a presentation on your way up the corporate ladder.

Kick A$$ Like Bruce Lee

Protect your family. Be invincible in bars. Show off your amazing flexibility. There are plenty of reasons to have this on the list. Most guys would say they already possess this Bucket List item, but it is on the Bucket List for a reason. Nevertheless, we would be money if we could take out 10 guys with our manly butt-kicking skills. Some guys actually can do this already. Case in point, the baddest man alive right now, Anderson Silva.

Did I miss any?

6 Comments »

  • rummuser said:

    Yes, you missed out the most important one, the Mistress Substitute, the man’s very own automobile.

    rummusers last blog post..Happiness, Contentment, Simplicity and Wisdom.

  • Kevin said:

    The red Corvette convertible…

  • Mike Bates said:

    Black 65 Mustang. Or perhaps a hovercraft.

  • Kevin said:

    I totally missed the hovercraft. I need one of those.

    I also missed teleportation and invisibility – both are something I think I would pay for…

  • Hayden Tompkins said:

    You almost make gills look sexy…almost!

    Hayden Tompkinss last blog post..Women Need Protecting

  • 12 Things A Man Doesn't Have To Do Before He Dies-Stupid Bucket Lists said:

    [...] stuff of legend that every bucket list needs right? Nah, if you don’t do this before you die, you’ll be quite alright and still a [...]

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