Interesting Reflection: Man Drought Is Fact Of Dating Life
There are some really good articles floating around in today’s ether on the lack of manliness in all men and the lack of men that possess any of it at all. As I was reading this article from The New Zealand Herald, it made me contemplate this young woman’s dilema. The article is titled Man drought is fact of dating life.
Here is an excerpt from that article:
Young, gorgeous, successful – and single. For Christine Kitching, 24, Auckland’s “man drought,” is not a vague concept, but a reality.
The high-flying Air New Zealand Fashion Week administrator told the Herald on Sunday single men were hard to find in the City of Sails – “they’re either gay or married.”
Unfortunately, the remaining bachelor pool presented what Kitching denounced as a “very limited selection”.
Successful and ambitious Kiwi women looking for a love match were hard-pressed to find “manly men” said Kitching.
“It’s a running joke among my single friends, the man-drought.”
One of the main problems with available men she’d met was that they were easily “intimidated” by strong, career-driven women.
“I don’t put up with crap,” she said. “But the men in Auckland are too soft. They are all so ’emo’.
“I haven’t yet found a really rugged man who is not going to spend more time in the bathroom than I do, or use my hair straighteners.”
This article is one of hundreds that come across my desk on a weekly basis. A recent book called “The Retrosexual Manual” by David Beasley, an Australian nonetheless, explores this topic of men returning to manliness. It was featured in many articles, but this one from the LA Times did it best when they tied it into the amazing TV show, Mad Men. (check my take on this manliest of shows)
We are witnessing a (relatively) silent revolution back to manliness. For years, being called a Metrosexual meant fighting words for many men. Then, subtly, things changed. Men began embracing their feminine side. Spending tons of time in the bathroom, getting haircuts every couple of weeks, manicures, pedicures (holy crap!) and all kinds of other acts to push us men further towards a unisex mentality.
By the late 90’s, the man’s man and old-timing manliness was dead. Now, it’s rearing its stubbly, Old-Spice smelling head back to mainstream. And people are talking about it.
This silent mutiny is one that everyone wants – men and women both. Metrosexuals, in my opinion, were a fabrication of the consumer society that existed here in America for the last 30 years. Attitudes shifted from manliness and being men to the effiminate male in constant search for his softer side.
Nobody really to blame. Women liked it as they were gaining the respect and admiration they deserved for so long. Men liked it because it gave them permission to do certain things. Men also thought this was exactly what women wanted.
What Women Want
And here we are, at the epicenter of the debate. Men succumbed to metrosexual tendencies in the attempt to figure out what women really want from their men. In reality, at first men only cared about getting laid and gaining more power. Then it took over what was normal for being a man.
My Dad said it best. “Kevin, I love women. I love everything about them. But don’t think for one second, ever, that you know what women are thinking.” So, if Dad was right, why are men trying so hard to figure it out?
We do so because the women in our lives (and the kind of women we want in our lives in the future) is so important to us men. We love our women and want to do them right, but men, in general, have gone too far in this quest. The overthinking of this timeless puzzle has pushed men to do things that are not terribly natural to them.
So, here we are. The great experiment which is metrosexuality has failed. Men, and women, are not happy with the present state of affairs. Yes, we have evolved to be more sensitive and thoughtful to equality and respect. That is a step in the right direction. But the idea of men acting more womanlike in order to relate with them on a level to figure out what they are thinking – that idea is under attack and many people, including the young Ms. Kitching, will welcome the Return To Manliness.